I have the most complicated relationship with this one set of friends...the sad part is that I'm pretty sure almost all of the turmoil I go through are entirely my fault. I am usually the one who simplifies everything down so much that others think I'm leaving important aspects out. I find that if people can just chill, most everyone else will be chill, and there isn't much to worry about. But we have this one set of friends where this just doesn't work. Instead of what is actually being said, I take offense on what she implied or what actually wasn't said...that totally isn't like me. I don't get it at all.
Well maybe I get it a little bit. The way this couple makes me feel is the way that no one else has ever made me feel. They treat Max and I the same way...I don't know if he feels the same way I do or not. What it boils down to is this...I'm pretty sure that we have become their "low-class" friends. I don't know if that makes sense in itself so I'll try to explain.
He was Max's friend and they hung out quite a lot. They played video games and ate fast food and life was good. Then they both got girlfriends. Their girlfriends enjoyed each others company enough so we got together quite often and played games and ate fast food and life was good. Then it began happening so slowly that I can't even pinpoint when it actually changed. They got an overpriced apartment in the avenues to begin with. They enjoyed it and were happy so we all hung out and everything was cool. Then they both started saying and doing things that just seemed so...different...snobby...I don't know. I think the point I noticed things were different when they ranted and raved about this movie that they thoroughly enjoyed called Pan's Labyrinth. We told them that we were interested in seeing it and he responded by letting us know that he didn't think we would like it because it had subtitles.
It really seemed to me that he was telling us that they were smart enough to enjoy a movie with subtitles but we couldn't. Because we don't live in the avenues we don't know how to read? From then on it seems like I pick apart every get together with them and what they are doing to make themselves seem superior than us.
We watch action movies at the megaplex, they watch artsy films at the broadway. We like pizza and beer, they like wine and bleu cheese. They work all day while we sleep all day. The following are all the examples of everything I can think of when I felt inferior to them and I believe it was because that was their intention.
Almost any time we ask to see if they would like to see a movie, they let us know what the local review was and how it probably wouldn't be worth their time.
We go see movies with people at any theater...we have seen a few movies with them...almost all of them were indie and almost all of them were at indie theaters.
They come over on a Saturday to drop off some stuff and I am in my pajamas at noon...it's my day off in my house. Instead of saying hello, he says good morning.
Max and I have many complications and explain this to them as a reason why we are late to a party. They relay to everyone in the party that they are sure we were sleeping in and that is the reason we are late.
They were having a family party and one of the members of their family suggested that they go to dinner at Sizzler. Afterwords, they came over with some of their other friends and giggled at the thought of people actually eating at Sizzler.
All of this seems pretty silly when it is actually typed out. Insignificant. And I probably wouldn't even notice it if it wasn't for this new behavior...they act like they want to hang out with us, they make plans to hang out with us, then when we rearrange everything so the plans will follow through they don't bother calling. So we call them to see what is going on and they are at their other friends house...drinking wine. They couldn't possibly come over at this point. No big deal...we are all adults and plans change. But this happens quite often with them and none of our other friends.
It makes me wonder if they assume they aren't required to let us know plans change because we are "less". We aren't doing anything important, we aren't anything important. They don't need to call us...we need to call them. I don't even know how it got this way but now I have it in my head that they just are "better" than us. I couldn't imagine stopping at a Wendy's and grabbing a cheeseburger with them before playing a game of Monopoly like we used to. They just aren't like us...but they were.
No one makes me feel like I am "less". They do...they really do. And I don't know if I care to ever hang out with them again. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed their company without feeling like shit from one comment or another. Obviously, I wouldn't feel like shit if I didn't allow them to make me feel that way. But I don't know what else to do except end up frustrated and confused about how it got to this point.
There was no actual fight. There was no actual disagreement. It is all these little inclinations and inside jokes that makes me wonder constantly if we are the butt of a joke and don't even know it. They don't have any other friends like us anymore...and I wonder if our lifestyle is joked about over wine and cheese. Why do I care? I suppose it's because that's not how it used to be. But it is now...or maybe not. Maybe the entire thing is in my head.
How can I let 2 people get me this freaked out about what I am or what I'm not? Fuck them. They aren't better than me and even if they don't know that...I do. Them being different, living in the avenues, only liking indie movies, making more money, drinking wine, driving a Prius, not eating at Sizzler, and having yuppie friends doesn't make them any better than us. Not better than me. Not at all.